And I slept in last night’s clothes and tomorrow’s dreams

On the first of February twentysixteen, I shall be twenty six years of age. If you have read my previous post you will understand why twentyfive wasn’t my best year. I have written of birthdays past before, but for this year I have decided to set myself some achievements to unlock.
Here is my list:

Read 26 books. I was in a major reading slump last year, I couldn’t concentrate for long enough to get into a story. I believe I read a total of only four books last year, which isn’t like my usual bookworm self. So this year I have set myself a goal on Goodreads to try and keep my nose deeply buried inside of those delicious smelling pages. I have just started my third book and I am loving reading again.
Survive five days at a festival. I have never been to a proper festival before. I hate camping and having dirty hair. Send help.
Write. Last year I let my blog slide a little because I just didnt have the concentration or the oomph to be bothered. I am trying to change that now and write often. I find it incredibly cathartic and enjoyable. So prepare to become even more acquainted with my inner tumultuous monologue. In the same vein I would like to get myself more involved in the blogging community. Collaborations, entering my writing to contests and publications and events are on my agenda; network, network, network.
Learn to like myself more. I often write about being a plus size woman and how most of the time I am content with this. However, somedays I am not okay to be in the body I am in and I would like to stop being cruel to myself. The aim is to be more accepting of me and my body, to treat myself with kindness.
Sing in public more. I love to sing all the time, I always have. Yet, I have never really had the confidence to put it out there for others to judge. There’s been the odd karaoke session but I would really like to give an open mic night a whirl.
Procrastinate less. I am the absolute best at procrastination, I can put things off indefinitely but I want this to change. In order to be braver and write more I need to stop putting things off and deal with them when I can. Sometimes I have to postpone things due to anxiety, but sometimes I just need to kick start the gremlins in my head to start working.
Stroke more dogs. I am one of those crazy dog ladies that will find a dog anywhere to coo over. I love them. I will talk to dogs I have just met only to be startled the owner is talking to me instead…excuse me sir, I was actually speaking to your adorable puppy! I have been told that I can’t really put this on my list as it’s not an achievement. But I really like dogs and they make me happy, so it’s staying. “How many dogs did you stoke last year?” “Not nearly enough”.
Okay, so some tasks are a little more serious and focused than others, but I know that if I can achieve all of these, even twothirds, this year will be awesome.

(I do not own this illustration).

Maybe I’ll find something real, not a fantasy so divine

It’s almost my twentysixth birthday. There will be more to come at the end of the month regarding how that truly makes me feel. Your midtwenties are weird, you feel the sense of getting older and more pressing responsibilities and yet there are other moments when you still feel like a teenager.
To combat my vague sense of impending doom, I have compiled a list of lovely things I would like to receive for my birthday. Because, who doesn’t like presents?!
Here is a link to my wishlistr page, where (if you feel so inclined) you can buy me wonderful things without duplicating with other friends and family.

Prints:

I love a good print and I try to only buy original pieces. Art that someone has taken the time to make themselves rather than a stock photo. These wondrous pieces are all on Etsy, and are all really affordable. The dinosaur is so cute and witty. I asked my friends on Facebook whether I needed the Shia LaBeouf print as much as I think I do, the general consensus was a resounding HELL YES! (although it was a resounding hell no! off of Facebook, but what do they know?!..). If you know me well or happened to stumble across my Wednesday Addams post, you’ll be familiar with my pure and resounding love for this awesome character. A great role model for girls and women alike, to true be yourself no matter what everyone else is doing.

Books/written word:

My name is Lydia, and I cannot stop buying books. The feel, the smell and the excitement resonating from some paper with words typed across them is something I relish in every time a new book comes to live with me. I read their stories, I fall in love and then they become my friend, sat upon my fully loaded bookshelves. Bookworms like I will understand this, I promise. And then there is Darling magazine, with their mission statement of “Darling is the art of being a woman”, “Darling is a catalyst for positive change; leading women to discover beauty apart from vanity”. Checkout their website to read all about their full mission. A magazine that is articles and essays about womanhood and inspirational women. None of the photos used in the magazine have been retouched and they use real women, you aren’t being subjected to the images the mass media want you to absorb until you feel bad about yourself.

Accessories (part one):

In my family it is a tradition to adorn your wrists with silver bangles. My grandma always wore hers, my mother always wore hers and now my sister and I jingle and jangle, our right wrists always adorned by our own set. I like how we each have our own unique melody, if you know us well enough you will always know who is coming round the corner. I have been looking for a thin hammered bangle for ages, and this one is lovely.
These three incredibly cute, by way of witchy, enamel badges I also found on Etsy. Perfect to add a little gothy twist to my already entirely black outfits…
These Pansy temporary tattoos have had me lusting over them for around two years now. I haven’t got around to buying them because they’re fairly expensive for what they are. And always “do I really need them?” is swimming around in my head…I mean you’ve all seen what I want so far right? It’s a sensible red cord in my brain.
A big fan of BloodyMaryMetal, I have been coveting this pricey but beautiful piece of jewellery for a long while now. I love that now my generation have gotten older, there are fine pieces of jewellery and accessories made for the alternative kids who aren’t ever ready to let go. For those of us who will forever be low key emo.

Pretties that hold things:

Terrariums are back in style and thank god because I have been after one for ages. Thankfully with the rise in popularity they are now much cheaper than when I first wanted one. The copper lined ones are particularly lovely.
I was shown the company that sell these bags on Amazon around a month ago, and have been lusting after this gorgeous overnight bag ever since. Pricey (although on sale) and made of real leather, its gorgeous. Living where I live often means having to stay elsewhere when I go on a night out and due to some new circumstances in my life, it means I shall be staying elsewhere more often and I would much rather do it with this beauty beside me.
In true magpie style I own a tonne of jewellery and I am always looking for more places to store it. I already have one of these clear acrylic draws but I could always do with another one. If I can see all of my jewellery I am more inclined to remember I have it and therefore wear it more often.
This lovely, thick notebook is the exact same one I bought for my sister for Christmas; and the exact same one she almost didn’t end up with because I wanted to keep it too much. I was expertly talked out of keeping hers, but I still want my own version.

Accessories (part two):

A friend recently showed me her newly purchased Gwen Stefani X Urban Decay palette and it was glorious. Mostly beautiful neutral/gold tones with a couple of vampy brighter shades; it truly is a masterpiece.
I already own a trioshade of purple rose flower crown from the masterful Crown and Glory, but then I saw this majestic navy one and I think that needs to come and live with me too. I have already chosen a gigantic glittery bow from them that I plan to wear for my birthday. However, for my everyday glitter needs these adorable glitter star bobby-pins are a must!
Jo Malone perfume is a very frivolous luxe product. So expensive for a small amount of perfume, but the Peony and Blush Suede is delicious. An incredible floral scent that is almost identical to my favourite perfume that was discontinued by Stella McCartney.

Misc.:
I have been planning to make myself one of these for ages, but for one reason or another I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. This pentagram harness is everything a mid-twenties goth girl desires…and this one is studded people!!!
After seeing a friend from school get a tattoo from this lady I have been obsessed with her work. Rebecca Vincent works at Parliament Tattoo in London, and the picture above is pretty spot on for the tattoo I must have and have been searching for for five years. This ladies work is pure magic and just simply perfection.

All the things listed in this blog post are on my wishlist with links and prices for your own perusal. Or if you happen to be my mysterious and unfathomably rich benefactor, to buy me for my birthday.

The words are hushed, lets not get busted

It’s been another month of me being absent on here and I feel bad about it. I like it here, I love to write but I just haven’t been feeling inspired recently. Every time I sit down to type something out my brain’s engine sputters and chugs and eventually comes to a heaving halt. Fear not though, fore it is January and I have decided to write a post every week, even if it is short and I don’t love it.
Here is December in all its iPhone glory:

December, week one.
The time of the year that our house gets transformed into a twinkling wonderland. White paper balls and giant snowflakes hang from the ceiling in our backroom/kitchen. It takes my dad and I around four hours to put up all the paper decorations and lights in just this room and the hallway. Here is a glimpse of our backroom and just a small fraction of the prints we own done by Alex Binnie and Jason Missori. And what kind of week would it be without a gratuitous selfie?!

December, week two.
I borrowed my sisters MAC lipstick in Diva and I love it. Amazingly it works perfectly on both of our skin tones (shes more olive to my transparent complexion). I must own it. Some beautiful tulips, I can never resist a good bunch of tulips. I came across these old photos of me as a tiny person, I think I was around three (nineteenninetythree). My hair was/is still mental and my sister thought it was hilarious that I looked like an old lady.

December, week three.
Florence’s boyfriend bought her a Polaroid camera for Christmas, she was too excited to wait until Christmas day to open her presents so she opened them on the end of my bed after he’d left. I am impressed with the new Polaroids. Christmas day consisted of opening our stockings on my dad’s bed whilst Dolly snuffled all the discarded paper. Boxing day saw our family and friends release twenty five magenta helium balloons in memory of my mum. It was our first Christmas without her and we always have a big get together on boxing day; this was a nice way to remember her.

December, week 4.
That weird week between Christmas and New Years Eve. A selfie, naturally. Some zombie targets I made to go along with a zombie Nerf Crossbow present I had bought; complete with fake blood from Halloween. My sister and dog invaded my room and Dolly was being so cute, so here she is with her little fluffy face.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I am not a huge fan of the celebrations surrounding NYE, as I have written before. However, this year was very pleasant and chilled. We released the last balloon for my mum and let off a huge glitter confetti cannon (which we are still walking into our house now…and its all up the street. whoops). Oh, and obviously there was Jooles Holland to be watched.
I hope you all enjoyed your festivities over the last few weeks, and I shall see you all next week.

 

Use the sleeves of my sweater, let’s have an adventure

It’s been a while. I have sat down to write several times since I last posted, but for one reason or another I just couldn’t finish anything. I’ve had a fog hanging over me and my creative flashlight wasn’t bright enough for me to battle through.
This post is a little lighter and doesn’t call for my “ferocious intelligence”, so with any luck I’ll actually be able to publish this.
My month in photos. An iPhone Retrospective, if you will. I have a double for you this time as October didn’t go up when it should have done. Behold! October and November snapshots.

October, week one.
Bruising and huge swelling on my right ankle after dislocating/spraining it on my way out around three weeks prior. Bought a gold septum ring and I love it, prepare yourself for more selfies. That beautiful handmade chair by Jason Mosseri (also an extremely talented tattooist), came home to live with me.

October, week two.
An awesome week meant that I got to catch up with some of my favourite ladies and drink Brighton gin out of my favourite shaped glass. It’s so round and makes me feel like a proper witch casting spells…
Another selfie. And a trip (hobble) to Islington to see my favourite band, Pokey LaFarge play an amazing gig in a chapel!

October, week three.
Narcissism. My dog thinks shes a human and likes to be fork fed, we shouldn’t encourage this behaviour, but look at that face! All of the hair.

October, week four.
Halloween! I love Halloween. And even though it’s my very favourite, I had never carved a pumpkin until this year. Mine are the two in the middle, one says “I put a spell on you” and the other says “Witch please!” with a tiny bat on the side. I think I have found my calling. Then came Halloween night, sparkly spiders in my backcombed hair and all of the fake blood. It has become a tradition that Kit and I should spend ol’ hallows eve together, drinking and cackling away.

November, Week one.
I put this photo on Instagram to mark my Grandma’s birthday. Shes the lady in the middle and my mum is the one at the very back. I cannot believe that I have lost two of the most important women in my life in the last six years. But what a happy photo. I made some sweetcorn and spinach soup, it was delicious. More hair.

November, week two.
It is hard to find decent alternative/Halloween clothes for plus size women. Asos offer a pretty decent selection of more current fashions for us and I was devastated after seeing that the skeleton dress was sold out in my size. However, it was back in stock and on sale after Halloween, so I finally got my hands on it. The middle photo is of a print by Alex Binnie (another very talented tattooist from In To You), I liked how it looked in the red light of our landing. Septum ring and gorgeous quartz necklace narcissism.

November, week three.
My wonderful aunt bought my sister and I Ciate advent calendars this year, they came in a lot of bubble wrap. Naturally we turned Dolly into a bubble wrap nun. My face. I have watched all of Casey Neistat’s vlogs (I watched all twohundredandthirtyfour in about a week). He is fascinating, highly talented and magnificently creative. Casey’s time-lapse interludes of New York City inspired me to try some of my own. Here is a still from one.

November, week four.
My feet looked really tiny in this photo and it made me laugh. I also really like my handmade tie dye bedding I did back in the summer. Yes, I know it’s still November but I have already written all the Christmas cards and watched both Home Alone films (the John Hughes ones, the only ones that matter). And then I put my Christmas bedding on – don’t worry, I’ll wash it and put it back on before Christmas day. Bored and waiting to go out for lunch (incidentally the best food I’ve eaten for a long time at The Urchin in Hove). Forever wearing my favourite necklace from a company called Sugar and Vice.

And that concludes the months of October and November. Yes, a lot of selfies but a few other good things too. I like reflecting back on my month, it makes me appreciate the times I’ve spent with certain people or the times I’ve taken for myself.
Hopefully I’m back into a writing streak and I can post some more soon. Fingers crossed.

i’ll write both our names into the wet concrete

So, a little more about me, the people and the things that i love.
(l-r)
1. me
2. The view from Shoreham looking towards Brighton
3. Me and Kit
4. Dolly
5. Some of my room
6. My sister, Florence
7. The Isle of Wight
8. Galaxy nail art that i did at Needles and Nails (bangonthenails.tumblr.com – my nail art blog)
9. Pokey LaFarge
10. My parents, Deborah and David
11. My tiny anchor tattoo and sweeties!